Haii

Today was really laid back! Caleb got back home really early! I didn’t expect him to get back before 9 as I was still sleeping pretty good from last night. The doctor called and told me that my blood test came back normal and I was just having high anxiety. I was so relieved! It made me feel so much better about everything. 

Throughout the whole day we mostly relaxed and were trying to think of what to do. It’s really sad how fast the days have gone by. I really don’t want to leave him. This whole thing is difficult on me. I really wish I could be with him every hour, every minute, and every second of every day because that’s how much I love him. I am so attached to the point of not looking forward to going back home. As much as I miss home, I’m already missing him more than anything. 

I fell asleep early afternoon from watching so much korean drama. Waking up early probably was the reason why I fell asleep again. Caleb was on LoL for a bit. I got dressed and we headed out to Johnny Rockets. I love that place. It’s so comfortable and the food is good! We shared the regular philly cheesesteak sandwich. After that, we got jamba juice and yogurtland :)

We got back home and that’s when the drama happened. It was crazy and I won’t go into it since these kind of things don’t happen too often anyways. Everything was okay after and I had some alone time with Caleb. I’m so gonna miss his chubby butt!

Caleb got back home an hour earlier than expected. He was supposed to finish at 1:45 but he got back at around 12:30pm!

SO I FINALLY GOT TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.

The wait was really long especially because I didn’t schedule an appointment. Walk-Ins are the worse! I didn’t think they’d take me but after awhile of waiting, they gave me an appointment at 4:15! Since we had a lot of time, Caleb and I went to Jersey Mikis to get sandwiches. I wanted to eat something healthy so I went with the ham and cheese sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and onions. It was good! I only ate half of it since I knew we had to rush back to the doctors. Man, I was nervous. I wasn’t nervous until I was inside the room. My heart started racing and I couldn’t control it. Talk about some serious anxiety right there. My blood pressure was so high and so was my heartbeat! The doctor gave me a pill (atenolol) to take and it helped slow down my heartbeat. They did a blood test on me and also took an ekg. The ekg came out to be normal. I just gotta wait for the results on my blood test to see if there’s anything wrong. I’m pretty nervous about that!

We got back home and watched an episode of korean drama before Caleb went to sleep. I got to talk to Jarvis on skype and talked to Marc on facebook the sametime. It’s so boring without Caleb!

I felt so relaxed! I slept so good!

Well I haven’t had this before. The cramps actually came back from the first day that I had it. It wasn’t as bad but it was still enough to keep me in  bed for most of the afternoon. During that time, Caleb was playing LoL. OH.. he also got me hot chocolate when he got back home. It was super yummy. I drank it all so quickly. :) Caleb’s mom and uncle came back home with chinese pork buns which were so delicious. 

David and Ivan came over around 4:30 and we headed out to Dennys after much deciding. I got the 3 course dinner meal which was either salad or soup, an entree, and a dessert. I chose chicken noodle soup, grilled chicken with broccoli and avocado, and a strawberry banana split. I also got a strawberry lemonade. Everything was so delicious.

We got back home and I had to change! LOL. Caleb and Ivan were playing LoL with Reggie and Derek so I just chilled. David showed me some videos of Caleb dancing. I think I fell in love even more with Caleb. LOL. I want to see him dancing in person now XP 

They left afterwards and after watching an episode of our korean drama, Caleb went to sleep. I think a little before 8. Around there. This is the part where I don’t like because I tend to not have anything to do when he goes sleep. 

Headache finally went away! I was super happy. Caleb got back home early today at 8ish. He brought back coffee for me, but after drinking it, I think it may have triggered my anxiety a bit. He was playing LoL with randoms and he got his first penta kill with Tristana! It was crazy. Even though he didn’t get a picture of it, I witnessed it :) 

Caleb had to go back to work for a meeting at 12-2 so while he was gone, I skyped with Jarvis. I saw a new cat that was roaming around the living room and apparently the cat’s name is Cookie too. Time went by pretty fast. I was also talking to Marc about random things. When Caleb got back home, he brought back hot chocolate. I am so addicted! It’s so yum!

For dinner, Caleb ordered a large pepperoni pizza for 8.99 from Pizza Hut. We picked it up and got back home to watch korean drama. Caleb went to sleep afterwards. 

I talked to Marc a lot while Caleb was asleep. Mostly random things and about the girl, Chelsey that he likes. He’s seriously so in love with her, like he was showing me a picture of her that he couldn’t stop staring at. LOL. It was really funny.

Caleb got up 5 hours later and I pretty much fell asleep. Lol

I kept waking up off and on today. It was so horrible having a headache and trying to get sleep. On the positive side, my cramps from yesterday went away completely! Though that went away, the headache was still bothering me so I didn’t feel like getting up from bed. Caleb got back home at 2 pm today and all I remember was still having a headache and not feeling like getting up. Caleb’s mom made tuna salad for sandwiches. While Caleb was playing League, he kept asking me to make the sandwiches, and I was just not feeling it. That chubs made me feel bad so I forced myself to get up and make them. At that point, I was just feeling irritated. With everything going on and how I was feeling, it was just not making me any better. I wasn’t really mad, just more irritated and emotional.  I know he cares about me and doesn’t want me feeling that way, but it’s just one of those things that you can’t help when you’re a girl like me. Happens every month. I’m fine now though. =P

So we headed out since it was super hot at home, but first we had to get gas. Then Caleb and I went to Target afterwards. We went there mainly to check out the fans. There were many different ones, but in the end, we chose an osculating 40” fan with many different settings. We also got candy for Mercedes too =] Then we headed over to YogurtLand where we got Samantha yogurt and Caleb got some himself. I didn’t feel like getting anything so instead I got a power sized  orange dream from Jamba Juice. I’m pretty sure I’m addicted now. 

We got back home to set everything up. Caleb and I were so excited to try out the new fan that it was the first thing we did when we got back. It didn’t take us long to set up, so that was good. The fan is actually not bad. For 60$, it does its job in osculating air around the tiny room. After that, we watched an episode of korean drama. Caleb went to sleep afterwards at about 7:30 pm. It’s 11:11 pm and I’m still here tumblring and watching youtube. As of now, my headache does feel a little better than before. 

Caleb has work at 4 am tomorrow but at least he gets off a lot earlier :) More time with him. Yay!

Caleb and I woke up around 10:40 am today. Everyone was of course up already. I remember Caleb cut up some bananas and strawberries for me. It was super good! His mom also made us tacos while we were playing League of Legends, which was really good! I didn’t do so well today, mostly cause I still need to practice learning all my skills. I also wasn’t feeling well and I found out why afterwards. I was cramping super hard! It was not fun! Caleb made me green tea and got me food that his mom or uncle made. The pork chops and carrots were so delicious! 

While I was resting, Caleb got to play his first ranked game with Walter. They won and decided to play two more! It was so exciting that they won all three games! After drinking the tea and taking a little of the pepto bismo (threw up a little) I was feeling somewhat better. Caleb and I watched a few episodes of temptation of wife. We’re in the 60s now! We still have about 60 more episodes! LOL. 

Caleb knocked out at 8:15pm so I gave him close to 5 hours of sleep as it’s 1:06 am now. He has a super long day tomorrow and I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. I’ve been keeping myself awake so that I can hopefully fall asleep easily when he leaves at 6:30. Somehow every time he leaves, I start having a hard time falling back to sleep. It’s like, I need him there…. because he makes me feel safe. I don’t know but I know I miss him every time he’s not there. It’s so different without him. While he was sleeping, I was spectating Marc and Shino’s game on League. I talked to Marc for awhile, about so many random things… and he ended up changing his fake facebook name. LOL. 

OH! we also finally got to wash the clothes. And Caleb’s mom’s friend who’s the neighbor across the street came to talk to us earlier about some finance class. It was interesting so we might check it out. Caleb also invited Ivan and David to come but we’ll see. Haha

I think that’s about it… I’m getting hungry again….

Today was a good day! I woke up feeling great! Slept in till about 11. Caleb and I showered by 12. We were picking up David and Reggie to head to the block of orange. I seriously love that outlet. It’s like the best place to shop. The last time we went there I bought so much with Caleb. The drive there was smooth, it took maybe about 40 minutes max.

The first thing we did was get some food. Caleb and I got our favorite charleys cheesesteak sandwich. Reggie and David got pizza. One thing I remember while eating was the picture Caleb took of Reggie. Good times!  After that, we decided to go see a movie. Oblivion had just came out so we chose that movie at 3:30. The movie was long, like 2 hours! It was really good though! I actually liked it more towards the end. My favorite part was shopping afterwards. I bought three things at Wet Seal and two things at Pac Sun! I bought a pair of jeans, shorts, and a top from Wet Seal for 30$ and two pairs of jeans from Pac Sun. OH..funny story. One of the jeans that I picked up had a tag on it that read $2.99. Neither Caleb or I believed it but I decided to check at the register anyways and it actually turned out to be $2.99! I was shocked! Caleb actually bet’d with that if it really was $2.99, he would pay for it, so in the end, he paid for both! LOL. Too funny. After that, Reggie went to buy a gift for his friend at Zumiez. He bought a hoodie for his friend and a funny cat shirt with eye lasers. LOL. Caleb bought coffee and these cinnamonrolls… cause of course, he’s fat. XD At the end, I got a ‘power’ size orange dream from jamba juice. It was so yummy. I drank it all as soon as we got back home. For dinner, we all got food from this chinese restaurant called ‘Twin Dragons’ I think. The food wasn’t bad! I actually really liked the firecracker chicken that I chose, which in the end, Caleb ate all! LOL

The day was pretty perfect. I had so much fun :) Slept good too!

The day started out with Caleb coming home around 11. We had left over vegetables from his mom and roasted chicken from yesterday. Yummy! 

Caleb called my HMSA insurance to see if I could go to the doctor here. The doctor office was closed early so we’ll have to call tomorrow to see if they’ll take it. 

I remember Caleb, Marc, Reggie, Derek, and I played a few games of LoL. The first game we played we lost, but the second game we won! My first win with high level people and on the account that Marc gave me. So happy! I actually love playing Lulu as support! I love her range and that she can turn enemies into a pet for a little while. I also got to try out flash and ignite for the first time since I could never get high enough level for those skills. LOL

We picked up David and Ivan, and headed out to Reggie’s house. We got there at like 8ish pm. Ended up chilling there for awhile watching Reggie play a ranked game with his friend Derek. It was a good game! They won! David and I were getting so hungry. Lmao!

So we ended up going to this place called Wing Stop to get food. After we all ordered out food, we had to wait so we went to Cold Stone. Caleb got this cookie icecream thing and I got a smoothie. I wasn’t too sure whether to get a shake or a smoothie but because they didn’t have milk (haha what the heck), I had to get a smoothie. It’s healthier anyways. I got what was called ‘Strawberry Bananza’. It was actually pretty good! We went back to Wing Stop to pick our food up. Then we headed back to Reggie’s house to eat. Caleb and I got 8 mild and 7 teriyaki boneless wings. It was too much! We also tried one of Reggie’s super hot wings. It was extremely spicy. The spicyness didn’t leave my mouth for awhile. Thank goodness the milk helped a lot to calm it down. LOL

After that, we took David and Ivan back to David’s house. Caleb and I finally got back home afterwards. He jumped on LoL so quickly. LOL! And yeah, I think that’s probably what he’s going to be doing for the next 4 hours or so. It’s 11:09 pm right now. 

Caleb and I got plenty sleep today. After he got home around 11, played a game of league, and watched an episode of temptation of wife, he was knocked out. I actually fell asleep with him for awhile!! I already had a good nights rest the other day and now I had even more!!

I was feeling a lot better up until I started talking to shino on league. She definitely triggered my anxiety. I was being polite and nice as usual and she made me feel horrible. Some of the things she says are so uncalled for. She was saying that I avoid her, which I don’t. Just because I avoid playing one game with her, she thinks that? LOL also when I said that I was practicing support and I wasn’t that good she says ‘Well that’s what happens when you’re thrown a level 23 account’. So rude. People need to learn that if they have nothing nice to say, then don’t say it at all. I felt really disrespected and this is why I don’t want to play with her or talk to someone that acts this way.

After I got off, I started feeling better. Caleb and I chilled for the most part. We watched some korean drama and he went back to playing league. OH! we also had chicken pot pie for a late night snack. I always get hungry at random times!

Sleeping last night didn’t go so well as I kept waking up from dreams that kept me from closing my eyes. I think I did manage to get a few hours of sleep, maybe. I remember I had the TV on sleep timer mode till around 7. 

Caleb got back home at 10:30 am. He went straight to LoL, his normal after work routine. Then we got ready and headed out to Target. I felt so bummy today! We ended up buying spaghetti ingredients. I was finally going to attempt this! Caleb paid half and I paid the other half. We had to buy other things too! I was desperately hungry so I couldn’t care at that point what we ate. We ended up going to Mcdonalds and as much as I hate getting food there, it was the fastest option. 

We got back home afterwards. Caleb played LoL with Marc as one of Caleb’s friends was giving him advice. Marc transferred his real account and gave me his level 24 account! I am super thankful! He has so many characters on it that I can try. On my account, I was limited to only a few characters! 

Started making the spaghetti at around 4pm and I had Caleb help me cut up the onions and celery. This was actually my first time making spaghetti and it turned out okay. It wasn’t like super awesome and amazing, but it was decent… for the first try. 

Mercedes was measuring Lily and I’s blood pressure. It scared me to know that I was right about having high blood pressure. I really need to watch what I eat now and stay away from salt, which means no more ramen for awhile. 

We watched more of ‘temptation of wife’ and got up to 50 something. Caleb went to sleep really late at 7. It’s now 10:15pm and I’m just relaxing.  I’m feeling a lot better, more calm from earlier. 

I woke up really late today. I think around 12:30pm! Caleb’s shift ended a little later than expected. He got back home at around 1 and I was actually a little worried where he was.

We went to In n Out and got cheese burgers, fries, lemonade, and a napoleon shake. It was super good! We got back home and started watching temptation of wife. Caleb played a game of LoL with Marc who I think is a little mad with me because I didn’t play with Shino and him yesterday. Oh well. After that one game, we continued to watch Temptation of Wife. We’re making really good process with it! Took a shower afterwards :) And Caleb went to sleep at around 6pm.

It’s 8:26pm right now. I just finished eating some Doritos and lasagna. It was really yumm. I really didn’t do too much today. Lately, I have been feeling a lot less interested in MapleStory. I have not logged in for two days now. And I don’t intend to go on today either. Caleb might still be on my BaM on his computer actually. He was afk on it yesterday when I asked him to dress up my character in the cash shop for ‘Patrick’s drawing thing’. 

Besides that! Really nothing much! I’m watching the same reality television show ‘Melissa & Tye’.

I finally changed my contacts! My eyes felt so much better. Contacts are only supposed to be worn for 2 weeks and I’m not proud to say that I’ve worn them for maybe more than a month! Anyways!!! Caleb and I slept in till about 11:30am. It felt good to get lots of sleep. I have been feeling better from a lot of things that had been bothering me lately. I’m hoping it continues to stay that way. 

Caleb, his mom, uncle, and I went to Cosco to buy food. We ended up spending 112$ on everything. I felt bad for Caleb who had to pay for everything, but hopefully it’ll be okay once Caleb’s mom pays him back. Caleb told me it was $262 on Wednesday, so that’ll definitely help a lot! We got food outside of Cosco afterwards. The food is so super cheap, it’s no wonder that the lines are always long! We bought a whole pizza for 10$ and Caleb bought churros for 1$, such a fat fat. Hehe. 

The next stop was to CVS to make a quick contact solution purchase. I run out so quickly! I wanted to make sure I have enough before I go back home because I know how important vision is for my time left here. I can’t believe I’m leaving soon! It’s a little depressing…

We got back home afterwards! I love that Caleb is spending more time with me. It makes me a happy girl! We watched a ton of korean drama (temptation of wife), I think we’re on ep 40 something now! There’s 129 episodes so we’re definitely making progress. Caleb went to sleep by at least 6.

I’m catching up on some reality television shows that I missed (Melissa & Tye).

After Caleb left for work, I started watching Pokemon! LOL…I missed out on so many new pokemon. I remember knowing all 150 then 200 something, and now it’s just pokemon that I don’t even recognize. The show has really changed since I last watched it back in the day.  

It felt really good to spend all day with Caleb today. At times, it feels like we’re always with his friends when we go out. And that’s fun, but I gotta say, having alone time with him is something I need from time to time.

We went to Chili’ to eat lunch and we got the 2 for 20$ deal! It was a really great deal! An appetizer to share and each of us got an entree. We got motzarella sticks for our appetizer, Caleb got pepperoni pizza, and I got steak, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. AHH, it was so delicious!

After eating, we went to look around the manhatten mall since I’ve never been inside. I can now see why Caleb doesn’t like it much. Not only was it more of a women’s store, but there really wasn’t anything. I didn’t like the store selections either. It was more for older people, in my opinion. We did however go to Macys and I found a few things that I liked. I managed to finally get a new pair of jeans and a white long sleeve. My macys card somehow didn’t work so Caleb ended up paying for me. Love him so much, all day, everyday :) I was actually feeling really guilty that he bought it for me since he pays for mostly everything.

We went to ‘SusieCakes’ afterwards. The best cupcake/cookie/treat/ goodie place ever. Everything that I’ve tried has tasted amazingly delicious so far. The people there are really nice too! The price is a little much but for what you’re getting, I think it’s worth it! We got 2 cupcakes, banana pudding, and some sort of cookie sandwich. That banana pudding was bomb!! Loved it!

Got back home afterwards. Caleb’s mom had gotten a ticket for picking up her phone while driving. :( 

Caleb was playing LoL for awhile while I rested. I think I took an hour nap. I woke up with a headache… hate when that happens. I stayed up after and the headache went away. I must have gotten up too quickly. My left side of my cheek was still hurting, I was google-ing and found out that it was probably a canker sore. I used Caleb’s mouth wash for the first time and that actually helped a bit. I also gargled warm salt water which also helped! 

For dinner, I had my left overs. Steak and mashed potatoes are the yummiest <3

I slept really good afterwards.

The day always goes by slow when Caleb’s not there. As much as I try to keep myself busy, time doesn’t seem to be moving as quickly as I would like it. It’s funny how when he’s home, everything goes by at the speed of light and you can’t slow it down.

So Caleb got home at 2pm today. While he was gone, I was watching a bunch of youtube videos and had just finished doing my hair. He went straight to playing League, that huge dork. We played a little with Marc until we had to get ready around 4:30pm. Caleb, Lily, and I left at  around 5pm to pick up David. The movie time we were originally going to go to was at 5:30pm and we actually got there on time, however we ended up going to the 6:15 showing since we still had to wait for Reggie. Reggie actually came right after we bought our tickets and decided to walk around the mall. We went to Forever 21. It was really fun to hang out with Lily while looking around. It’s so much easier to shop with a girl that also loves shopping. LOL. Lily ended up getting a bag there that David bought as a late birthday present. I almost never find anything at Forever 21 anymore because there’s just way too many clothes and there’s just not enough time to go through everything like how I normally would. LOL

After forever 21, we headed back to the theater. OH! Lily almost lost her ticket at Forever 21. Good thing nobody took it! That would have been horrible. We got back to the theater on time and got pretty good seats. Caleb and I got the regular mozzarella sticks and an Icee. The movie ‘EvilDead’ was crazy gory! I actually did jump a few times and had to cover my eyes half the time there was something scary about to happen. Caleb kept making me jump every time there was one of those ‘loud noise’ scenes. Overall the movie was good… but probably not something I want to see for a long time.

We ended up eating at Johnny Rockets after the long walk around which place to go. Almost every place we went to before Johnny Rockets was so crowded. Buffalo Wild Wings, BJ’s, etc! There was also another restaurant we went to but I can’t recall the name. It might have been ‘Lazy Dogs’. Either way, they were all crowded and none of us wanted to wait too long! Johnny Rockets was surprisingly not that busy with open tables and no lines. We got seated immediately. I ordered a Philly’s Cheese steak Sandwich. It was so delicious! 

OH! we also went to Foreign Exchange and Lily got a dress that David also paid for. LOL. I didn’t see anything I wanted to buy as usual. which is probably a good thing… I need to save money….

Reggie left afterwards.

The 4 of us (Caleb, Lily, David, and I) decided to go bowling afterwards. I think David wanted to play 4 games, but we ended up only playing 3. It was super fun as always. Somehow I did decently in the beginning, but towards the end, I was just not playing well. Lily was letting Caleb bowl for her most of the time. LOL. I think we were all getting really tired after the 2nd game. except David! He always gets high scores. But yeah, I only took a picture of the 1st and 2nd game because somehow the 3rd got erased so quickly. It wasn’t a good score for most of us anyways. LOL.

We went to the Bank afterwards for Caleb to withdraw money for his mom (insurance). Then we dropped David back off at home. Finally we all got back home. It was a long day!! but it was worth it :) I had tons of fun!

It’s 2:16am and I’m going to sleep soon. Chubs is still playing League with Walter. We may see another movie tomorrow! if we can get up… I know he’s going to be tired! He hasn’t slept since yesterday~

Today I was up early! Everything that was bothering me the other day was fine. It almost feels like as it comes and goes every other day. I seriously don’t like that but what else can I do. :/ 

Caleb came home earlier and we went straight to playing with Reggie for 2 games. Sadly, it ended badly. Being level 8 when everyone is 30 and has more exp is a biit much for me. I didn’t do as well as I wanted! 

We went to Dennys after. I really wanted to try the bacon avocado omelet which they were advertising on commercial. I also got a strawberry lemonade which is starting to be my favorite drink there! The food was really good! Along with the omelet, there was also hash browns and toast which I could not finish. Like, there was no way I could finish that much. :P

After Dennys, we went to the car wash to get Caleb’s car clean! It wasn’t no ordinary car wash, it was like a jungle! In my opinion, if rain forest cafe had a car wash drive through, it’d be similar to this. Just not as fancy as the actual restaurant, of course. I was actually kinda nervous as this was my first time experiencing a drive through car wash. It went by really quick and before I knew it, Caleb’s car was squeaky clean. The only thing is that he had to dry it off. The quick car wash drive through lead to a place to vacuum all the dust and dirt left in your car. Caleb spent a good 20 minutes vacuuming and throwing out junk from his car. I was actually pretty surprised at how many people were there to clean out their car today.

We got back home after and Caleb went to sleep at around 2:30pm. At first we were spectating a rank game that Reggie was playing. It ended up making us fall asleep. I only slept for an hour to wake up to see that Reggie had won. I got up to turn the LoL ‘Victory’ screen sound off because it was just getting annoying! 

I played with Marc on Maple for a little. He taught about the evolving system more how you can summon a manon for 2.5m which I thought was really cool! 2.5m is nothing anyways. We were planning on CHTing. However, the only problem was that I couldn’t get inside. That was seriously annoying that they changed it or something. Waste of time, but whatever. Marc actually recorded his demon slayer killing the regular HT in 2 minutes 30 seconds. The video was only 1 min something though because he sped it up. 

After that, Caleb got up at around 7:30pm. We ate the food that his mom made. She made some sort of vegetable meat soup which was really good. We watched a ton of korean drama and since I was getting tired, Caleb went on LoL to play with his LoL friends. 

The back left side of my jaw has been hurting. I think it’s my wisedom teeth but that has been distracting me the whole night. Brushing my teeth helped a little but the pain is still noticeably there no matter how much I try not to think about it. 

It’s 2:19am and Caleb is playing LoL still and I’m up tumblring before I forget everything the next day. Somehow I remember more when I type really late. Caleb has 1 more day of work today and then he’s off for the next 2 days. We have plans for today and tomorrow which is pretty exciting. :) Also, 10 months with chubs. It’s crazy how fast time is going with him.

Woke up feeling not normal-ish. Ugh, why do I feel like the same symptoms are coming back. I started feeling  almost the same way as I did before. It was horrible. Is it really anxiety? because I’m really not thinking of anything that could be bothering me. It’s really strange!

I drank a lot of water and made myself noodles, but that only made me have to use the bathroom a lot! LOL.. I think Caleb’s uncle must have been thinking ‘why is this girl going to the bathroom so much.’ embarrassing. haha

Caleb finished work super late today. He got back home at 2! I was so bored without him. Time goes by slow when he’s not around. We played LoL with Marc. I got to play support. I actually had some fun with it as it’s not so pressuring when you’re an attacker. I didn’t do so bad too for my first time. The only thing I need to work on is what I need to buy. 

After that 1 game of playing, Caleb made hamburgers while I put the clothes back in drawers. It was crazy because while he was frying one of the burgers, the alarm went off! It wouldn’t stop for the longest time and it was crazy annoying! Good thing it finally stopped when Caleb was fanning it out. The burgers were really good though! We watched a few episodes of ‘Temptation of Wife’. Caleb was really getting into it but he had to go sleep by 6:30pm!

It’s now 8:19pm and I can tell you that I am feeling so much better :) Hope it stays that way. Tomorrow should be better since Caleb gets back earlier at 9am. The only thing is that he leaves at 4am~

Caleb had a really long work shift today and was supposed to finish at 1 but he ended up coming home earlier. :) I was feeling pretty good. Got dressed and headed out to eat. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted Chilis or Olive Garden but in the end I decided Olive Garden. I had the usual. Chicken alfredo and chicken dumpling soup. Caleb had the same. It was super delicious :) Then we went to this place called ‘SusieCakes’. Seriously…that place has the bestest cupcakes and cookies. Caleb bought me two cupcakes and 2 cookies. Expensive but so worth it! AHhh, I loved it. 

We came back home right after since Caleb had to go sleep. :( He had another long work shift the next day. I rested with him for awhile and got up. Caleb went to sleep around 6:30. I remember Caleb’s mom was washing clothes so we had to wait till she was done. It ended up being around 10ish when I got to put the clothes in the washing machine. I felt bad about disturbing Bob every time I passed by, but Caleb’s work clothes really needed to be washed. I got Caleb up at around 11:30. I also had his help to put the clothes in the dryer and put the next batch in the washing machine. Washing clothes can be such a hassle. 

Looked through the free market since prices of items have changed significantly since I’ve last checked. While going through the shops, I passed by Landis’s shop who immediately skyped’d me to come back. I came back and he traded me 9% int spectrum goggles! I was super happy. One of my favorite items in the game are ‘spectrum goggles’. They just look super nice! Love them! I immediately locked the item. LOL!

Slept in today. I woke up after Caleb got back home. I felt like everything was back to normal with my health.

It was a very unproductive day for me. Washing the dishes made me feel a little better but then all these thoughts came into my mind. /start rant: Why was I the only one who cleaned up after myself? There were SOOOO many dishes in that sink. Now I know how Caleb’s mom feels when she always has to wash the dishes. «This part isn’t that important, because those were just thoughts going through my mind. It’s what happened afterwards»Caleb and I got into an argument about it which lead to another thing. Caleb was like just leave it, but I didn’t want Caleb’s mom or uncle to bicker about it since it happened before so I did some of it. Then he started saying that I shouldn’t worry about it since I don’t take out stuff in my room at home. It’s different, because it’s just water bottles. Water can be taken out whenever and I admit I was too lazy to carry out all those water bottles from my room, but I do eventually do it. If it was pizza, donuts, candy, then of course I would have to. Also coming here, I’ve been learning to be a lot better about cleaning up. Yeah, I leave food out for awhile in his room because I’m still working on it. I’m the type that eats frequently in small portions. I can’t just eat a whole portion of food unless I’m really hungry. And as for my crazy mom who was brought up, I can’t do anything about what she does. It’s hopeless. I seriously don’t like when he brings up things that I have no control of. If there was something I could change then yeah, go for it. I was just feeling horrible. He also said I was taking away everything he liked doing. I don’t know how everything lead up League of Legends but somehow it did. And then the topic of me talking to Marc came up and me saying the same thing as his ex, about him not giving enough attention. It was just a huge mess. I just think if two people are feeling the same way about something than it’s something that needs to be taken into consideration. For example, Caleb and a previous ex both told me that I am picky with food and honestly, I know that I am. I didn’t deny that. But is that a real problem? because I feel like it’s my own fault if I don’t eat what’s there. I honestly don’t mind him playing LoL, but I’d rather him spend more time with me because not only am I more important, but I’m only going to be here for another 19 days. His excuse is that he wants to get better at the game, but can’t he do that later? when I’m gone? or at least not play 10+ games a day. I have been really lenient with him playing so much but it’s starting to become a problem because of how little attention and time I get compared to the game. I don’t know but all I want is to make the most of the last few weeks of being here before going back home for awhile. On top of everything, I don’t want him to be sad. But it seems like him playing less is going to cause that. I would rather he make the decision himself of playing less, not me. All I can do is let him know how I feel but honestly I don’t think I can say anymore. It’s up to him and I can’t do anything. According to Caleb, he feels like he does spend enough time with me. But if I am not feeling that way, then why…… I really don’t understand because this has never happened to me previously with other exs before. Even Jason who also played LoL didn’t make me feel this way. Probably because he didn’t play as much. /end rant

Waking up feeling normal is more than I can ask for. It makes my whole day that much better. Having this condition out of nowhere is something I still don’t understand. Things were so different. The best way to describe how I was feeling is having a hard time breathing, feeling out of breath from just getting out of bed, anxiety being triggered randomly by loud noises, rapid heart beats, feeling weak and tired all the time. All of this can really make life devastating and not the same. Imagine you can’t do what you want or accomplish simple daily things that you normally could do. That’s exactly how I felt. People kept asking me ‘what was wrong’ or ‘it seems like there’s always something wrong with you’. And honestly, that hurt a lot because I didn’t know either. How could I know? I’m no doctor. I can’t know what’s wrong with me. Fortunately for me, things have been feeling better and I am just so thankful. I hope it continues to stay that way. What this unknown condition has taught me is not to take life for granted. Life is so precious and short that there’s not a day that you should waste feeling unhappy about what you don’t have, what you want, etc. Being healthy is the most important thing.

The Birthday Party today was combined with Samantha and I since our Birthdays are close. Her birthday was today while mine is actually on the 9th which is in two more days. I appreciate it so much that Caleb’s mom and uncle included me in this. They bought so many balloons and even the #21 balloon for my birthday. It was just super sweet. They also bought the cake which was incredibly beautiful and all the food which was extremely nice. I loved everything. Everything was way more than anything I expected. Back at home, we don’t go all out like that. We just go to dinner with relatives which I know doesn’t sound that exciting, but honestly, that’s all I really want. To see people I’m close to happy is one of the best feelings.

I started getting ready since people were starting to come over. Showered and got dressed. I really didn’t wear anything too special. It was a really hot day and it’s funny because everyone was dressed pretty warm except me. 

There were so many people! David and Ivan also came over. I felt bad because I couldn’t remember everyone’s names. It was so horrible. I was also incredibly shy. LOL. Everyone seemed to know each other while I was feeling alienated. I get that feeling a lot but of course I blame myself because I’m such an introvert. Caleb’s mom and uncle went all out on the food. I was surprised at how much food there was. I was a bit sad that I couldn’t touch the ‘sweets’ like the cupcakes and brownies. Apparently, I have HBP (the last time I checked) so I didn’t want to trigger anything crazy. I ate a burger which was delicious and I had a bunch of carrots! Trying to be healthy is hard when I used to be able to eat anything whenever I want. Now it seems like I have to make sure I eat enough and make sure not to eat too much sweets! 

The whole day was mainly all about ‘wrestly mania’. Watching that from when it started to ended surprisingly went by quickly. My eyes were getting tired but that usually happens when I stare at the screen for too long. It was crazy and exciting. I actually haven’t watched wrestling shows in a LONG time. I saw familiar faces like Brock Lesnar, Triple H, and The Rock. Mercedes was having the time of her life. :) You could really tell that she was looking forward to it more than anybody. She loved it! :) There was so much suspense and the fights went on for awhile! Other than that, I had a great time watching everyone screaming and having fun.

Landis was making a Harlem Shake video but I think we have to attempt it again next week, seeing that it was really unorganized! Hopefully we can make it better next time. 

Then it was time to blow out the candles on the cake. Samantha went first. Then I was next! I actually couldn’t blow it out the first time because I was laughing. Someone put cake on my nose. LOL. I think it was Samantha! Totally did not expect that. That has never happened to me before. I’ve actually only seen that in movies (John Tucker must die :P). I’m glad I got a picture of the cake before it got messed up! XD

Caleb went to sleep afterwards. It was like 9pm? We cuddled and I got up to make this long tumblr post. LOL